BEAT MY FIVE: AFFPPRAID

I dont know about you guys, pero I have many things I am afraid of, Please tell me kung ako lang ba ito or somehow you feel the same way too. Enough of this lame introduction, here you go ladies and gents.

BEAT MY FIVE: AFFPPRAID

1. WATER – Everyday my biggest wish is to learn how to swim, not really to compete or to have it as a form of exercise but just to enjoy being in the water. Dahil kung iisipin we are surrounded by it. At kahit anong pag ttry kong pag aralan sa sarili ko hindi parin ako matuto-tuto. I’m the guy you’ll see sa gilid ng pool na going from one side to the other na parang tanga then after a few minutes sasabihin ko sa sarili ko na naglangoy nako. hehe.

I have two major problems when it comes to swimming. 1 is hindi ako maka dilat sa ilalim ng dagat. 2. Nakakapag langoy ako sisid freestyle or back floating pero ung mismong floating lang hindi ko kayang gawin yun.

This is the reason why I am afraid sa tubig. Lalo na ngayon na everytime it rains flooding in the metro is like a normal result na mag babaha kaagad. So kung may isa akong fear ito na siguro yung bagay na yun. Although I think Filipinos are mostly good swimmers, hindi nga lang ako kasama dun sa mga taong yun.

2. ANAKIS  – Believe it or not, I’m excited to see myself as a father kahit wala pa akong anak and I don’t think na mag kakaanak ako after maybe a dacade pa. Ito rin yung something na pinplano ko in the future cause its kinda nice, na makita ko ang sarili ko sa isang maliit na stout na 2 years old na antukin na tahimik lang. But ang kinakatakutan ko is because I am so goal oriented palagi, and very passionate. Gusto ko rin iparandam sa kanya yung mga hirap na dinanas ko dahil I know it will build the character that will help him/her survive kahit saan man path na gustohin nya.

I want to be a provider up to the point na hindi dapat maramdaman ng anak ko na pinabayaan sya or he has to not eat lunch or dinner, tiisin ang gutom para lang makapasok o makauwi ng bahay. Pero to a point na gusto ko rin makita nya ang kahirapan ng buhay na hindi kayang ibigay ng mga walang kwentang Filipino Soap Operas dito sa Pilipinas.

And that is my fear, cause I know hindi ko magagawa yun dahil siguradong magkakamali ako at baka masaktan ko lang ang emotions ng future son/daughter ko dahil sa pagpipilit kong i enforce itong mga life lesson sa buhay nila. I know too that they will be smart and or observant katulad ko and that will complicate things, dahil today’s world is very much different. So I don’t know, I still can’t figure it out..

3. DIE – I called my mom today for like five times in a steadily increasing volume. Ang sinagot nya lang sa akin ay HA?? Considering the fact na, I graduated as a Nurse, at ang dami ko ring nakitang paghihirap and of course death from the TB ward to ICUs and all. Its kinda difficult to understand that one day you might not be able to hear good or you will forget the things and eventually loose kung sino ka. I think I’m not alone on this, pero I really am, siguro partly ng fear ko is my experiences din siguro. I felt like everybody is dying horribly, like that lady guard that died in Liver Cirrhosis which is a painful and kinda ugly death, and the thing is they are super poor, nanghihinge ng IV at kung ano ano pa sa mga ibang patient.

Technically being dead or to die is not my fear but DYING is probably the worst. Kapag nga sa yearly medical exams sa trabaho, hindi ko magustuhan eh.

Parang mas kakayanin ko pa kumuha o mag process ng paperworks application sa NBI or kahit saan pa, kesa tusukin ako hawakan ang balls ko ishoot yung jebs ko sa maliit na cup. Paano pa kaya pag matanda nako very loose na yung bowel movements ko, na kaylangan akong i-catheter, man… I cant imagine kung anong feeling nun.

If you are a passionate man like me, and you just want to do so much, parang I dont want to under perform sa kahit anong bagay.

4. DAGA – Ilagay mo na ako sa lugar na maraming uod as in yung mga “pang patay na kind” (super jeje konyo hehe ) Pero isa talaga to sa super na kinakatakutan ko. At hindi lang yung mga kasing lake ng pusa or “your dagang canal” (jeje nanaman) kahit yung mga hamsters na binebenta sa mga sosyal na shop? Diba DAGA Padin rin yun? Kahit anong type ng DAGA hindi ko gusto at tatakbo talaga ako o lalayo maamoy ko lang sila.

I have friends na super hamster or yung dagang costa lover, na hindi ko talaga magustuhan kahit ano pang argument ang ibato nila sa akin about how cute ng mga alaga nila. And theres this friend na sinabi pa sa akin na ang daga daw is parang Dogs lang na maliit. I’m like, WHAT?? NO! Yang daga yang ni hindi ka nyan nakikila 99.9% and our dogs can even predict my feelings kahit ako hindi ko alam.

Yung kapatid ko nung kapag nilalakad yung aso namin at nakakasalubong  yung isang lalakeng hindi nya feel or medyo irratable sya, inuungulan sya ng aso namin. Yung tao lang na yun at wala ng iba. My dad’s dog back in the 90s nung hindi pa uso dito ang pagtatali ng aso, bubuksan lang ng papa ko ang gate at lalabas ang aso namin and kapag pagod na sya uupo lang sya sa labas at tatahol, asking to open the gate for her.

Kapag pinawalan mo yang daga na yan hindi na babalik sayo yan at sigurado makaka survive yan ng wala ka at in the end ni hindi ka nyan makikilala.

Going back, theres nothing wrong with pagaalaga ng daga but I hate it to the point nakakatakot sila.

5. BEING FAT – Nung bata ako sobrang payat ko as in, mala snatcher ang dating. I always dreamt of being fat like having a bit of fat and muscles in my arms and or torso. Pero now that I am 26 my metabolism is slower and I store more than what I eat. So ito ang mga panahon na delikado, dahil kapag tumaba ka sa mga ganitong age, its like a dead end.

At the difficulty nito ay I like to think, watch dvds, movies, and going to the mall, sa maliit na oras na meron ako. All those doesn’t put any restraint sa katawan ko at mabawasan ko ang mga calories sa katawan ko. OO stress nakakapayat pero kung nagagawa mo yung mga gusto mo, pano ka ma iisstress. And being stress makes you look ugly hindi lang payat.

Now I’m running like shit (if that means anything), and parang hindi gumagana, parang gusto kong bumalik sa boxing pero diko alam kung saan kukuha ng time. Probably diet din siguro… siguro

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